Unless you were raised by Mr. Rogers, himself (content warning for some older ways of viewing gender 1:25-1:35), chances are that you didn’t get much education about how to cope with anger. Anger often comes with a sense of restless energy that won’t relent until it’s dealt with, but “dealing with it” in the way that might feel most natural could lead to bricks in windows, fists in walls, and other situations that might get you into more trouble than they’re worth. So, what’s a pissed off person to do? We’ve developed a simple-but-effective go-to strategy for when you’re feeling angry.

Ashley KirsnerOctober 19, 2021anger, angry, i'm angry, how to deal with anger, how to cope with anger, how to be angry, a strategy for dealing with anger, what to do with anger, what do i do with anger, what do i do with my anger, how do i not yell, how do I not yell, how do I not scream, how do I not scream at, how do I not yell at, how do I not hurt, I'm angry Comment

How to get out of a bad mood

A lot of us prepare for inevitable inconveniences in most areas of our lives; we keep spare tires, we have flashlights for when the electricity goes out, and the most accident-prone (or just prepared) among us tend to own first aid kits. But most of us don’t prepare for the inevitable emotional inconveniences of life: “bad moods,” including sadness, anxiety, and anger.

That’s why it can be a great idea to create a “bad mood menu.”

Ashley KirsnerOctober 6, 2021bad mood menu, how to feel better, get out of a bad mood, how to get out of a bad mood, skip the small talk, anxiety, anger, big feelings, loneliness, grief, self-compassion, prepare for bad mood, prepare for bad moods, difficult emotions, prepare for difficult emotionsComment

Calmer conflicts in 2 minutes

In conflict, it’s way too easy to inadvertently ratchet up each other’s anger levels. All it takes is a little bit of negativity, and if you’re not careful, you’ll both be sucked down a rabbit hole of anger and finger-pointing.

Since things can devolve so quickly once a conversation gets heated, it’s helpful to take steps to start off with as big of a positive, warm, and kind buffer as possible.

It’s not just you: Why you feel weird lately

If you’ve started feeling odd as we come up upon the one-year-anniversary since a lot of us started quarantining, it’s not just you. You might just be experiencing just one or a few of these things, but some things you may notice are:

Sleep problems
Strange or unpleasant dreams
Irritability
A feeling of restlessness
Feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, and/or anxiety without a clear cause
Flare ups of chronic health issues

Does any of that sound like what your last few days or weeks have been like? If so, then you might be having a trauma anniversary.

Ashley KirsnerMarch 4, 2021Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, STST, STST blog, why you feel weird lately, why you feel weird, why do I feel weird, why I feel weird, pandemic, covid, covid-19, covid-19 feels, i feel bad, why do i feel bad, why do I feel bad, trauma, trauma response, trauma responses, trigger, triggers, triggering, trauma anniversary, trauma anniversary reacton, trauma anniversary reaction, anniversary reaction, anniversary reactions, anniversary, covid anniversary, covid-19 anniversary, pandemic anniversary, sleep problems, trouble sleeping, sleeping problems, insomnia, strange dreams, bad dreams, nightmares, irritable, irritability, i'm irritable, why am I irritable, why do i have bad dreams, why do I have nightmares, why am I having nightmares, why am I restless, restless, restlessness, sadness, sad, anger, angry, guilt, guilty, anxiety, anxious, why am I anxious, why am I so anxious, why am I sad, why am I so sad, why am I angry, why am I so angry, why do I feel guilty, why do I feel sad, why do I feel angry, why do I feel anxious, why do I feel nervous, nervous, nervousness, chronic health flare up, flare up, chronic health, chronic health problems, quarantine, quarantine anniversary, quarantining, why do I feel bad all the time, why do I feel angry all the time, why do I feel sad all the time, why do I feel mad all the time, why do I hate everyone, I hate everyone, I hate everything, why do I hate everything Comment

How to apologize: The ultimate template

I love the above quote from Dr. Lauren Appio. I think it’s important for all of us to accept that for as long as we are alive, even when we don’t mean to, we are going to say things that hurt people. It’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.”

So, whether you’ve said something less-than-kind to a loved one or you’ve used the wrong pronoun for an acquaintance, here are some guidelines for how to respond.

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A unique strategy for big feelings

This week, I’m thinking about the above quote I found via psychologist and author Nedra Tawwab.

Three life lessons from the movie Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Mr. Rogers was the dad America needed. The biographical movie Won’t You Be My Neighbor does an incredible job of showing us why. Whether you saw the movie and want some help processing or whether you didn’t see it but still want some takeaways, enjoy these three big life lessons via the sweatered socioemotional powerhouse, himself.

What to do about anger

Has your anger ever led to an action you regretted? Maybe you sent a text you didn’t feel great about, maybe some words came out of your mouth more harshly than you’d intended, or maybe your anger came out sideways and you spent some time silently fuming and distracted from your everyday life. Since anger can compel you to take action before thinking, it can be useful to have some tools ready for the next time you’re feeling peeved.

Ashley KirsnerSeptember 12, 2017Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blog post, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, anger, angry, feeling angry, how to deal with anger, how to cope with anger, mindful, mindfulness, deep breaths, deep breathing, I'm so angry, I'm angry, express anger, expressing anger, how do I tell someone I'm angry, metaconversation, metaconversations, art, music, calming, calming music, DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, coping, how to cope, how to cope with feelings, feelings, emotions, overwhelming, overwhelming feelings, I'm feeling overwhelmed, feeling overwhelmed, support hotline, hotline, suicide hotline, journal, journaling, free write, freewrite, freewriting, free-writing, free-write, exercise, Maslow's hierarchy, self-care, anger physiology, fight or flight, fight or flight response, rash, rash decision-making, decision-making, problem-solving, how to make a decision, how to solve a problem, how to be angry, healthy relationships, healthy relaitonship, how to have a healthy relationship, how to have a healthy relationships, how to have healthier relationships, how to maintain your relationships, how to maintain your relationship, how to have long-lasting relationships, how to have better relationships, how to make your relationship last, how to make your relationships healthy, how to have healthy relationships, how to make your relationship healthy, deal with feelings, how to deal with feelings, I'm furious, I don't know what to do, what should I do, explosive anger, What to do with anger, what to do about anger, what to do with anger, anger problem, I have an anger problem, I think I have an anger problem, do I have an anger problem, problem with anger, problems with anger, do I have a problem with anger?, vent, just want to vent, just want to talk, blogsComment

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