Posts tagged trauma response
Why your life is hard and how you can fix it
Why your life is hard and how you can fix it

Life will throw plenty of unpredictability at you. So why do so many of us go seeking out chaos in the areas of our lives where we actually have control? The short answer: seeking out chaos is a trauma response.

For those of us who grew up in chaotic environments— whether that chaos is from abusive caretakers, anxious caretakers, or even just caretakers who bickered in front of you— we’ll often feel the most comfortable in chaos. And that means that when given the option, we may tend to choose living spaces, friends, jobs, partners, hobbies, etc. that are chaotic in some way or another.

Choosing chaos in general isn’t necessarily a bad thing! We wouldn’t have anyone working in emergency rooms, or picking up the phone for folks who dial 911, or even acting, for that matter, if there weren’t some people who thrived in chaos. It’s a superpower. But it can also be a drain on your energy if you’re not careful.

That’s why I suggest, especially if you are someone who grew up in chaos and are drawn to chaos, to take inventory of your life from time to time by asking yourself the following question:

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Ashley Kirsnershould i break up, should I break up with my girlfriend?, should i break up with my boyfriend?, should i break up with my spouse?, should i get a divorce?, should i get a divorce, should i break up with my partner, should i break up with my partner?, should i break up with my friend, friend break-up, friend breakup, friend breakups, friend break-ups, banging your head against a wall, banging your head, chaos seeking, i love chaos, trauma response, trauma responses, trauma, impact of trauma, depression, sad all the time, why do I feel sad all the time, why do i feel sad, why am i angry all the time, angry all the time, mad all the time, why am i mad all the timeComment
It’s not just you: Why you feel weird lately
It’s not just you: Why you feel weird lately

If you’ve started feeling odd as we come up upon the one-year-anniversary since a lot of us started quarantining, it’s not just you. You might just be experiencing just one or a few of these things, but some things you may notice are:

  • Sleep problems

  • Strange or unpleasant dreams

  • Irritability

  • A feeling of restlessness

  • Feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, and/or anxiety without a clear cause

  • Flare ups of chronic health issues


Does any of that sound like what your last few days or weeks have been like? If so, then you might be having a trauma anniversary.


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Ashley KirsnerSkip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, STST, STST blog, why you feel weird lately, why you feel weird, why do I feel weird, why I feel weird, pandemic, covid, covid-19, covid-19 feels, i feel bad, why do i feel bad, why do I feel bad, trauma, trauma response, trauma responses, trigger, triggers, triggering, trauma anniversary, trauma anniversary reacton, trauma anniversary reaction, anniversary reaction, anniversary reactions, anniversary, covid anniversary, covid-19 anniversary, pandemic anniversary, sleep problems, trouble sleeping, sleeping problems, insomnia, strange dreams, bad dreams, nightmares, irritable, irritability, i'm irritable, why am I irritable, why do i have bad dreams, why do I have nightmares, why am I having nightmares, why am I restless, restless, restlessness, sadness, sad, anger, angry, guilt, guilty, anxiety, anxious, why am I anxious, why am I so anxious, why am I sad, why am I so sad, why am I angry, why am I so angry, why do I feel guilty, why do I feel sad, why do I feel angry, why do I feel anxious, why do I feel nervous, nervous, nervousness, chronic health flare up, flare up, chronic health, chronic health problems, quarantine, quarantine anniversary, quarantining, why do I feel bad all the time, why do I feel angry all the time, why do I feel sad all the time, why do I feel mad all the time, why do I hate everyone, I hate everyone, I hate everything, why do I hate everything Comment