If you’re anything like me, you have some to-do list items that have been hanging out on your back-burner for anywhere from weeks to months to… sure, I’ll admit it… years. Whether it’s cleaning your room or starting a work project or reaching out to a loved one, I’ve found one common thread in most to-do list items with longer-than-you’d-expect shelf lives.

That thread is shame.

I’ve coined a term for this specific manifestation of shame that I hope will help illustrate how this all tends to unfold. I call it “The Dial Your Grandma Effect.”