Mindfulness for people who hate mindfulness

Modern mindfulness meditation practices often aren’t trauma-informed. So, it’s no wonder that a lot of people have trouble finding a practice that works for them.

And that’s unfortunate because when done well, mindfulness can offer so many benefits to your everyday experience of the world that research often has a tough time keeping up with all the wonderful things that mindfulness can do: it’s been shown to help smokers quit, reduce social anxiety, decrease chronic pain, improve memory, and so much more.

So here are some tips, from one person who used to absolutely hate meditation and all things mindfulness-related (and who now actually enjoys them), about how to make meditation and mindfulness work for you.

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12 Nayyirah Waheed poems that Skip the Small Talk

We're excited to either introduce you to or remind you about made-famous-by-Instagram-but-actually-because-of-talent-not-just-because-her-stuff-is-on-Instagram poet Nayyirah Waheed. Her books salt. and Nejma are brimming with unpretentious poems that capture human experiences we don't usually talk about in everyday life. So, obviously, she's very much our jam. Here are some of our favorite poems of hers that capture some of the ideas we've discussed in other blogposts or at our events.

BlogAshley KirsnerMarch 13, 2018Nayyirah Waheed, Nayyirah, Waheed, poem, poems, poetry, poet, poets, woman of color, women of color, salt, salt., Nejma, nejma, a pinch of prose for those days, Instagram, Instagram poem, instagram, instagram poetry, Instagram poetry, relationships, what you need to say, split, hurt, vulnerability, vulnerable, pain, rejected, unable, masculine, culture, masculinity, men, strenght, strength from vulnerability, strength out of vulnerability, strength, honesty, yield, breakdown, break down, heal, healing, compassion, judgment, judging, judgmental, mindful, mindfulness, authentic, authenticity, people pleasing, people pleaser, people-pleasing, people-pleaser, self-love, self-care, speak up, speaking up, the freedom in fear, home, name, dam Comments

One quick tip for way better conversations

“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings,” said Stephen King, riffing off of a William Faulkner quote about writing. King and Faulkner were pointing out that the best writers are willing to erase portions of their writing that don't fit the larger story, even if the writing itself is good.

It’s the same with conversations. The best conversationalists are willing to go with the flow instead of trying to insert a thought from a few minutes ago wherever they can, even if that thought is clever, funny, or insightful. They're willing to give up contributing any given idea in order to be more present.

Ashley KirsnerFebruary 21, 2018conversation, conversationalist, kill your darlings, interrupting, interruption, tips, conversation tips, conversation tip, how to talk to people, talk to people, mindfulness, mindful, listening, how to listen, active listening, being present, presentComment

Three tips for surviving the holidays

Whether you’re spending the holidays with family, with friends, or with yourself this year, your celebrations probably won’t live up to the impossibly wholesome fireside gatherings that the media depicts as the norm. Well, the good news is that no matter how many pictures of glistening ham you see on Instagram, nobody else’s holiday is going to be perfect, either. So, we’ve come up with some tips for making the most out of your holidays, whatever they look like.

Ashley KirsnerDecember 21, 2017holidays, holiday, Christmas, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Happy Chanukkah, boundaries, setting boundaries, how to set boundaries, how to have boundaries, how to have a healthy relationships, how to connect, family, how to be with family, self-care, mindful, mindfulness, mindful acceptance, mindfully accept, three tips for surviving the holidays, survive the holidays, how to survive the holidays, depression, sad, lonely, I feel lonely, feel lonely, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blog post, missed my flight, anxiety, Maslow's hierarchy, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Maslow, boundary, set boundary, how to connect with family, visiting family, without going crazy, party, holiday party, holiday party ideas, Christmas party, Christmas party ideas, Hanukkah party, Hanukkah party ideas, hosting a party, host a party, how to host a partyComment

What to do about anger

Has your anger ever led to an action you regretted? Maybe you sent a text you didn’t feel great about, maybe some words came out of your mouth more harshly than you’d intended, or maybe your anger came out sideways and you spent some time silently fuming and distracted from your everyday life. Since anger can compel you to take action before thinking, it can be useful to have some tools ready for the next time you’re feeling peeved.

Ashley KirsnerSeptember 12, 2017Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blog post, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, anger, angry, feeling angry, how to deal with anger, how to cope with anger, mindful, mindfulness, deep breaths, deep breathing, I'm so angry, I'm angry, express anger, expressing anger, how do I tell someone I'm angry, metaconversation, metaconversations, art, music, calming, calming music, DBT, dialectical behavior therapy, coping, how to cope, how to cope with feelings, feelings, emotions, overwhelming, overwhelming feelings, I'm feeling overwhelmed, feeling overwhelmed, support hotline, hotline, suicide hotline, journal, journaling, free write, freewrite, freewriting, free-writing, free-write, exercise, Maslow's hierarchy, self-care, anger physiology, fight or flight, fight or flight response, rash, rash decision-making, decision-making, problem-solving, how to make a decision, how to solve a problem, how to be angry, healthy relationships, healthy relaitonship, how to have a healthy relationship, how to have a healthy relationships, how to have healthier relationships, how to maintain your relationships, how to maintain your relationship, how to have long-lasting relationships, how to have better relationships, how to make your relationship last, how to make your relationships healthy, how to have healthy relationships, how to make your relationship healthy, deal with feelings, how to deal with feelings, I'm furious, I don't know what to do, what should I do, explosive anger, What to do with anger, what to do about anger, what to do with anger, anger problem, I have an anger problem, I think I have an anger problem, do I have an anger problem, problem with anger, problems with anger, do I have a problem with anger?, vent, just want to vent, just want to talk, blogsComment

TIPS, STORIES, AND insPiration