to help you Skip the Small Talk in your everyday life
Check out the Multicultural Minds podcast episode where Skip the Small Talk founder Ashley Kirsner shares their biggest mistake when first hosting Skip the Small Talk and how they continue to address it. Ashley also talks about some surprising examples about how they’ve considered inclusivity in designing events, like how they account for different communication styles specific to different cultural traditions and different types of neurodivergence.
Read MoreThe pandemic has changed the way we experience social situations. A particularly interesting and inconvenient social impact of the pandemic is that a lot of extroverts are reporting feeling more drained by social interaction than ever before. What gives? Is the pandemic turning extroverts into introverts?
Not exactly. We can attribute a lot of this phenomenon to an unexpected culprit: masks.
While masking up was a lifesaving thing that was absolutely worth whatever social cost they’ve imparted to us, they are likely to be a huge contributing factor to why in-person socializing can feel so draining these days, even for folks who would normally otherwise feel energized by socializing. So while we should absolutely keep masking up (masks are saving lives, after all), there may be some reason to think about the social cost of wearing masks and how to address them without giving up our masks. Here are a few reasons why.
Read MoreLots of articles are covering how socially awkward we’ve gotten ever since a lot of us have started socially isolating. But I’ve noticed a second, stranger social phenomenon lately that nobody seems to be talking about.
The pandemic has led us to become more critical of how we interact with others.
I hear it all the time these days— folks tell me that they should have done or said things differently in even the most mundane social interactions. A lot of people are having more invasive thoughts, more frequently, regarding how they could have or should have behaved differently. And a lot of folks are making negative assumptions about how they’re perceived by others.
Why is this happening? And why is it happening now?
Here are some psychological phenomena that might help us understand what’s going on.
Read MoreIt’s a weird time in history to be thinking about having fun. We’re still chugging along through a worldwide pandemic, a lot of us are depressed and anxious from years of social isolation, and “having fun” may not even sound appealing anymore. But the reality is, there’s a ton of research out there showing that fun and play are healing. If you need more proof, Catherine Price has recently written a whole book about the importance of fun and how to have more of it.
So here are some tips for having more fun, even when fun sounds like the last thing you want to do.
Read MoreWe’ve fielded a lot of requests lately for Zoom icebreakers, virtual icebreakers, and online team icebreakers, so we thought we’d share some good icebreakers for Zoom office check-ins, virtual friend/family reunions, and pretty much any other online gathering of humans you may find yourself in. We hope you’ll discover at least an icebreaker or two that’s appropriate for whatever occasion has you logging onto a video chat!
Read MoreIf you’re out there Googling, “What is burnout?” (or clicking on an article called “What is Burnout” wherever you found this), chances are that you’re feeling some burnout symptoms already. That’s okay and totally normal! Pandemic burnout is so widespread that some even argue that it’s created a whole new kind of burnout, so you’re definitely not alone. So, what is burnout, anyway?
Read MoreChances are, you have at least one memory of rolling your eyes at a forced “icebreaker activity,” or maybe you’ve led an icebreaker activity that led everyone in the room to emotionally “check out” for a bit. It can feel mortifying to be on either side of a poorly executed icebreaker activity, so whether you’ve been the eye-roller or the eye-rollee, it’s a totally common thing to happen, and you’re definitely not the first. It’s hard to come up with great icebreakers, and even harder to deliver them well! So here are some tips that’ll help you avoid that dreaded silence.
Unless you were raised by Mr. Rogers, himself (content warning for some older ways of viewing gender 1:25-1:35), chances are that you didn’t get much education about how to cope with anger. Anger often comes with a sense of restless energy that won’t relent until it’s dealt with, but “dealing with it” in the way that might feel most natural could lead to bricks in windows, fists in walls, and other situations that might get you into more trouble than they’re worth. So, what’s a pissed off person to do? We’ve developed a simple-but-effective go-to strategy for when you’re feeling angry.
Read MoreLife will throw plenty of unpredictability at you. So why do so many of us go seeking out chaos in the areas of our lives where we actually have control? The short answer: seeking out chaos is a trauma response.
For those of us who grew up in chaotic environments— whether that chaos is from abusive caretakers, anxious caretakers, or even just caretakers who bickered in front of you— we’ll often feel the most comfortable in chaos. And that means that when given the option, we may tend to choose living spaces, friends, jobs, partners, hobbies, etc. that are chaotic in some way or another.
Choosing chaos in general isn’t necessarily a bad thing! We wouldn’t have anyone working in emergency rooms, or picking up the phone for folks who dial 911, or even acting, for that matter, if there weren’t some people who thrived in chaos. It’s a superpower. But it can also be a drain on your energy if you’re not careful.
That’s why I suggest, especially if you are someone who grew up in chaos and are drawn to chaos, to take inventory of your life from time to time by asking yourself the following question:
Read MoreA lot of us prepare for inevitable inconveniences in most areas of our lives; we keep spare tires, we have flashlights for when the electricity goes out, and the most accident-prone (or just prepared) among us tend to own first aid kits. But most of us don’t prepare for the inevitable emotional inconveniences of life: “bad moods,” including sadness, anxiety, and anger.
That’s why it can be a great idea to create a “bad mood menu.”
Read MoreWe just had a paper published about Skip the Small Talk and we couldn’t be more stoked about the results!
Read MoreIn conflict, it’s way too easy to inadvertently ratchet up each other’s anger levels. All it takes is a little bit of negativity, and if you’re not careful, you’ll both be sucked down a rabbit hole of anger and finger-pointing.
Since things can devolve so quickly once a conversation gets heated, it’s helpful to take steps to start off with as big of a positive, warm, and kind buffer as possible.
Read MoreLong-time Skip the Small Talker Kip Clark made the news for offering “free listening” in Cambridge, MA (and check out Skip the Small Talk’s mention in the video, too)!
Read MoreFor a lot of us, it seems that Zoom calls are here to stay. So here are some tips for structuring your online video calls, both work-related and social, to get the most out of them without getting totally drained.
Read MoreI’ve seen a lot of content about how to be charming, and a lot of it is based in fooling people or creating power dynamics where others feel like they’re below you in some way. That may “work” in the short term (for various definitions of “work”), but I think that at best, they lead to unsatisfying interactions for all people involved. And at worst, those strategies for being charming can lead to abusive dynamics.
So what can you do instead? Here are some tips for being charming in a way that’ll actually feel good for both you and the people you’re talking to.
Read MoreWhether you need an icebreaker for a classroom, boardroom, or living room, we’ve got you covered. Here are some options that get people to open up without making them feel like they’ve been put on the spot.
Read MoreWe’ve already talked about how to know it’s time for a friend break-up, but how do you know that someone would make a good friend? Here are four “green flags” that suggest you might want to keep someone in your life.
Read MoreAs people emerge from their quarantine shells and start attending social gatherings again, a lot of us are feeling more socially awkward than usual. That’s totally normal to feel strange after not interacting with people in a social setting for a while!
So I wanted to offer a strategy for coping with social discomfort, whether it’s coming from post-quarantine awkwardness, chronic social anxiety, or something in between.
