Posts tagged authenticity
12 Nayyirah Waheed poems that Skip the Small Talk
12 Nayyirah Waheed poems that Skip the Small Talk

We're excited to either introduce you to or remind you about made-famous-by-Instagram-but-actually-because-of-talent-not-just-because-her-stuff-is-on-Instagram poet Nayyirah Waheed. Her books salt. and Nejma are brimming with unpretentious poems that capture human experiences we don't usually talk about in everyday life. So, obviously, she's very much our jam. Here are some of our favorite poems of hers that capture some of the ideas we've discussed in other blogposts or at our events.

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BlogAshley KirsnerNayyirah Waheed, Nayyirah, Waheed, poem, poems, poetry, poet, poets, woman of color, women of color, salt, salt., Nejma, nejma, a pinch of prose for those days, Instagram, Instagram poem, instagram, instagram poetry, Instagram poetry, relationships, what you need to say, split, hurt, vulnerability, vulnerable, pain, rejected, unable, masculine, culture, masculinity, men, strenght, strength from vulnerability, strength out of vulnerability, strength, honesty, yield, breakdown, break down, heal, healing, compassion, judgment, judging, judgmental, mindful, mindfulness, authentic, authenticity, people pleasing, people pleaser, people-pleasing, people-pleaser, self-love, self-care, speak up, speaking up, the freedom in fear, home, name, dam Comments
The normal you wish you were
The normal you wish you were

“It’s hard spending time with people who are the normal you wish you were,” said one of my closest friends. Her husband was struggling with a dependency on alcohol, and he found it painful to hang out with friends who could have a few drinks and call it a night. He would regularly talk himself into thinking he could be “normal” like them and just have a few drinks, but “a few” invariably turned into “too many” for him, and he would end up feeling shame about not being able to control his relationship with alcohol.
 

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Ashley Kirsnernormal, vulnerability, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk, small talk, no small talk, vulnerable, authentic, authenticity, weird, odd one out, fit in, want to fit in, I want to fit in, how to fit in, relationships, healthy relationships, isolation, isolated, lonely, alone, I feel alone, nobody gets me, blogs Comment
Do you know how to "be yourself?" The question that will help you be authentic even when the stakes are high
Do you know how to "be yourself?" The question that will help you be authentic even when the stakes are high

“Just be yourself!”
“Don’t worry about what other people think of you!”
“Dance like nobody’s watching!”
“To thine own self be true.”


We consume these truisms from the moment our infant brains can understand them and we don’t stop until we’ve seen one too many cliché-littered Pinterest boards. But the reality is, if you’re flailing your limbs on the dance floor without a single thought of who’s watching, or who’s within arm’s reach, you might accidentally smack someone in the face. How do you dance like you’re aware that people are watching, but you know that you’re dancing for yourself, and not for them? How can you think about the space you're taking up on the dance floor without having it affect your self-expression? How soon until we're done with this metaphor? It's important to "be true to yourself," but if you’re not thinking about how others respond to your behavior, you might be missing out on opportunities to connect, and you may even hurt others or yourself in the process.
 

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Ashley KirsnerSkip the Small Talk blog post, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk, skip the small talk, no small talk, be yourself, just be yourself, don't worry, dance like nobody's watching, dance like nobody is watching, to thine own self, to thine own self be true, oversharing, tmi, identity, holidays, Christmas, in-laws, how to talk to in-laws, authenticity, authentic, genuine, genuineness, relationships, relationship, relationship advice, blogs
A Better "How are you?"
A Better "How are you?"

Cultural niceties can make it challenging to answer “How are you?” honestly if you are feeling much more than, “Fine, thanks. How about you?” If you change up the phrasing of your question even slightly, though, it can often be enough to disrupt the automatic process that leads to uninformative and uninteresting answers. Here are some options for making it easier on others to answer you honestly, even if they’re not feeling “fine.”

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Ashley Kirsnerhow are you, connection, connecting, getting to know people, getting to know you, habit, habits, what's new, what's new?, how are you?, what's been on your mind, what's been on your mind?, how have you been feeling, feeling, how's life, how's your life, how is your life, what's exciting in your life?, what's exciting in your life, real answer, real answer to "how are you", negative emotions, modeling, model, authentic, authenticity, genuine, genuineness, open, openness, getting people to open up, vulnerable, vulnerability, frustration, emotion, emotions, what's up, sup, fine, fine thanks, lately, these days, not much, connect, STST, how to skip the small talk, skip the small talk, healthy relationship, how to have a healthy relationship, healthy relationships, relationship, relationships, managing relationships, talk big, talk big not small Comment