Posts tagged how to have a happy relationship
A simple way to take your relationships up a notch (or five)
A simple way to take your relationships up a notch (or five)

Five to one: According to one of the most prominent social scientists in the field of romantic relationships, John Gottman, that’s the ratio of positive to negative interactions in stable relationships. Couples were significantly less likely to get a divorce when they had about five positive interactions for every negative interaction they had.

Read More
Ashley KirsnerSkip the Small Talk, how to skip the small talk, relationship, relationships, relationship advice, romantic relationship, romantic relationships, boyfriend, girlfriend, romance, how to keep the spark alive, how to have long-lasting relationships, better relationships, deeper relationships, relationship health, the secret to long-lasting relationships, healthy relationships, healthy relationship, managing relationships, how to make your relationships healthy, how to keep your relationships, how to make your relationships last, how to make your relationships last forever, how to make my relationship last, long-lasting relationships, relationship risks, gratitude, how to keep your boyfriend, how to keep your girlfriend, how to keep your friends, how to keep your significant other, how to keep your wife, how to keep your husband, John Gottman, relationship science, better communication, communication, communication skills, how to communicate better, how to have better conversations, positive reinforcement, positive, positive psychology, positive feedback, how to deepen your relationships, deep relationships, I love how you, happy, how to have a happy relationship, relationship ratio, magic relationship ratio, strong relationships, strong marriage, stable relationship, stable relationships, stable marriage, stable marriages, how to take your relationship up a notch, take your relationship up a notchComment
The Vulnerability Paradox
The Vulnerability Paradox

Have you ever felt comfortable telling something intimate to your hair stylist or bartender or ride-share driver, and then finding yourself feeling warm toward them, and perhaps inclined to tip more? Have you ever developed strong feelings for someone you were dating in a low-stakes context, like someone you knew you didn’t want to be with long-term?  Then you are likely familiar with what I’ve deemed “the vulnerability paradox.” According to the vulnerability paradox, a pattern I’ve noticed in myself and others, it’s often easier to open up to those we are not relatively close to, yet, the very act of opening up brings us closer.

Read More
Ashley Kirsnervulnerability, paradox, vulnerability paradox, how to skip the small talk, skip the small talk, strangers on a train, strangers on a plane, strangers on a train effect, strangers on a plane effect, vulnerable, relationships, relationship advice, casual relationships, romantic relationships, romance, how to get close, how to get close to someone, how to get closer, how to get closer to someone, how to get closer to people, how to get close to people, how to get to know people, how to get to know someone, fear, how to keep your relationship, how to keep your relationships, how to maintain your relationship, how to maintain your relationships, relationship health, healthy relationships, communication, risk, risky, riskiness, relationship risks, healthy relationship, how to have a healthy relationship, how to get people to open up, skipping the small talk, STST, relationship, managing relationships, how to have a happy relationship, how to make friend, how to make friends, how do I meet people, talk big, talk big not small Comment
The single most surprising way to get close to people
The single most surprising way to get close to people

We'll cut to the chase. It’s boundaries, or more specifically, setting boundaries liberally and respecting them consistently.


Surprised? Think about it this way. Boundaries come on a spectrum, which looks different for each person-- there are smaller boundaries, which might look like, “Please lower your voice; my roommates are sleeping” and bigger boundaries, which might be more like, “Please don’t come to my house again.”


What a lot of folks don’t realize is that setting and respecting smaller boundaries are the single best way to avoid the big boundaries.

Read More
Ashley Kirsnerboundaries, consent, thanks for telling me, thank you for telling me, thanks for sharing, mermaids, merpeople, setting boundaries, respecting boundaries, set boundaries, respect boundaries, Anastasia, The Little Mermaid, Disney, closer, bringing people closer, comfort, discomfort, CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, small boundaries, big boundaries, boundary, mermaid, how to skip the small talk, how to get close to people, how to meet people, learn how to skip the small talk, relationship, relationships, healthy relationship, healthy relationships, how to have healthy relationships, how to make your relationships healthy, how to make your relationship healthy, how to have a healthy relationship, how to have a happy relationship, how to make friend, how to make friends, how to keep your friends, Skip the Small Talk, big talk, talk big not small, Josh Fialkoff, music video, music, consent song, Disney references, Shawn Hershey, get closer to people, managing relationships, talk big, STSTComment