Posts tagged validation
How NOT to support a friend
How NOT to support a friend

In light of my last blog post about how to support others, I wanted to also share one of the most common pitfalls that I often notice when people try to offer support to others. It’s a mistake that’s usually well-meaning, but its impact can add to the burden of the people you’re trying to support: taking the side of someone who’s not there.

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Ashley Kirsnerhow to support others, support, validation, validate, validate feelings, validating feelings, how to validate feelings, reflection, self-reflection, open-ended questions, how to ask open-ended questions, how can I support my friend, how can I support my girlfriend, how can I support my boyfriend, how do I support my friend, how do I support my boyfriend, how do I support my girlfriend, how do I support my grieving friend, taking sides, taking the side of someone who's not there, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, Skip the Small Talk blog post, how NOT to support a friend, how not to support a friendComment
How to support a friend
How to support a friend

Every so often, I’ll see some content floating around the internet encouraging people to ask their friends and loved ones how they’d like to be supported.

I think that’s a great conversation to have, but in practice, it’s often best to have that conversation **before** anybody actually needs support. If your friend is crying on your couch, that’s often NOT the time to ask them how they prefer to be supported; people who are actively in pain often are not in a state to do the mental work required to educate others on how to best support them.

So, how are you supposed to know what to do when your friend IS crying on your couch? I’ve gathered some tips here based primarily on my suicide hotline training.

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Ashley Kirsnersupport, how to support a friend, how to listen, listening, how do I support my friend, how do I support my grieving friend, how can I support, how can I be more supportive, how can I be supportive, Maslow, Maslow's hierarchy, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, validate, validation, validating, reflect, reflection, reflecting, open-ended questions, strategic open-ended questions, strength-based, strengths-based, make people feel heard, how to make people feel heard, how to help people feel heard, how to help someone feel ehard, how to help someone feel heard, suicide hotline, what do they teach you at a suicide hotline, suicide hotline training, difficult conversations, how to have a difficult conversation, how to have a hard conversation, how do i have a hard conversation, how do i have a difficult conversation, problem-solving, self-care, self-compassion, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, Skip the Small Talk blogpost, Skip the Small Talk blog post, how can I be a better friend, I want to be a better friend, I want to be a better boyfriend, how do I be a better boyfriend, how can I support my girlfriend, how do I support my girlfriend, how do I support my boyfriend, how can I support my boyfriend, how can I be there for, how can I be there for my friend, how can I be there for my friends, how can I be there for my girlfriendComment
Potato chip connections
Potato chip connections

Chances are, you’ve had the experience of binging on potato chips or other junk food when what you really wanted was a meal. You’re famished, so instead of taking the time to cook something, you reach for whatever’s quickest, easiest, or most tempting, but you end up feeling like garbage. Connection can work similarly.

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Ashley Kirsnerconnection, connections, skip the small talk, Skip the Small Talk, Skip the Small Talk blog, potato chip, potato chips, potato chip connections, junk food, loneliness, lonely, how do I stop being lonely, how can I stop feeling lonely, learning, hollow, I feel hollow, I feel hollow inside, vulnerability, vulnerable, hungry for connection, Tinder, Facebook, social media, alone together, lonely in a crowd, alone in a crowd, isolated, isolation, social isolation, socially isolated, feeling lonely, feel lonely, I feel lonely, I feel alone, love, validation, learning process, suicide hotline, just want to talk, social interactions, social interaction, connected, feeling connected, how to feel connected, feel connected, rejection, rejected, social media addiction, social media addict, am I a social media addict, am I a social media addict?, wholesome connections, wholesome connection, potato chip connection, numbing, numb, craving connection, how to connect, how to connect with people, blogsComment