“Holding Vigil”: A Poem For Difficult Times

Let this poem be a mirror for those who need it, a reminder of the ways we hold one another as we move forward into difficult and uncertain times.

BlogAllison ScharmannNovember 7, 2024poem, poetry, processing, grief, emotions, coping, coping skills, calm, relaxation, meditation Comment

Why you need self-compassion in your life and how to do it (even when you don’t want to)

At Skip the Small Talks, we ask attendees to have compassion for others and for themselves as they try out new ways to hold conversations. It’s probably obvious why we care about people having compassion for each other at an event where strangers are getting to know each other for the first time, but equally if not more important in that context is self-compassion. That’s because any attempt at change or improvement generally goes much more smoothly if you’re not beating yourself up after every setback. Connecting genuinely often requires taking some risks (like sharing things that feel a little vulnerable), and having compassion for yourself when those risks don’t pan out the way you hope can help you continue taking some risks in the long-term, and can help make the learning process easier for you in the short-term.

BlogAshley KirsnerApril 5, 2018compassion, self-compassion, Skip the Small Talk, blogpost, skip the small talk, hotline, suicide hotline, listening, talking, self-love, vulnerability, genuine, communicating, communication, communication skills, coping skills, coping, distress tolerance, tolerating distress, resilience, psychological well-being, well-being, happiness, mood, happy, friends, friendship, strenghts, positive psychology, positivity, help, criticism, critique, be kind to yourself, worthy, worthiness, you are worthy, self-talk, positive self-talk, mental health, mental wellness, Skip the Small Talks, authentic, conversations, conversation, evolutionary psychology, evolution, negative, negativity bias, negativity, gratitude, asking for help, reaching out for help, reach out for help, reach out, reaching outComment

How to ask for help

Asking for help is vulnerable; when we solicit support of any kind, we open ourselves up to the possibility of rejection and all the accompanying feelings and self-judgments. So, it’s understandable that many of us feel anxious about it or have a hard time asking others for much beyond passing the mashed potatoes at dinner-- and even that can raise anxiety.

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