10 Books for Better Sex
When it comes to sex, Skip the Small Talk! We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: The key to good sex is communication. What do you want? What does your partner want? What are your personal do’s, don’ts, and don’t know’s? Talking about sex is sexy! But not all of us know what we want, let alone how to share it with someone else. Thankfully, there’s a whole world of resources out there to help you do just that. Check out these books for inclusive tips on navigating self-love, sex, and intimacy, one page at a time.
1. The Body is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love
Sonya Renee Taylor
Let’s kick things off with a little self love! Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body is Not An Apology is a rejection of the social systems that oppress our bodies and our minds. Taylor invites us to recognize the parts of us we are conditioned to judge and shame and to trade in these harmful notions in favor of radical love for others and ourselves.
2. Desire: An Inclusive guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships
Lauren Fogel Mersy & Jennifer A. Vencill
What do we mean when we say “sex”? What do we want, what don’t we want, and why? Desire is two sex therapists’ refreshing challenge to out-of-date, identity exclusive sex self-help. They break down the stress, anxiety, and social structures that limit our libidos and our sexual imaginations and provide techniques to help you figure out what you want, why you want it, and how to make it happen.
3. Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex
Allison Moon
You did it! You know what you want from your sex life. But how do you actually do it? Sex educator Allison Moon’s Getting It is pretty much Sex 101 for people of all identities and experience levels. Moon covers the whole hookup gamut from the fun and flirty to the down and dirty: consent, communication, and sweet, sweet desire — aka everything you need to know to have fun, healthy casual sex.
4. Girl Sex 101
Allison Moon
And before Getting It, there was Girl Sex 101, Moon’s cult classic how-to book for the wlw (women who love women) spectrum. It’s got info. It’s got illustrations. It’s got the deets on the cool, queer, gender-inclusive sex they didn’t teach you about in health class, perfect for the curious, questioning, and card-carrying members of the “alphabet mafia” alike.
5. Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
Jessica Fern
The book that launched a thousand, discreet indie bookstore purchases, Polysecure gives The Ethical Slut a run for its money by shaking up how we think about sex and love. For those considering (or already committed to) non-monogamy, Polysecure is a trauma-informed exploration of attachment theory designed to guide readers to healthier non-monogamous relationships. Check it out!
6. A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability
A. Andrews
A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability is a short, funny, informed guide to the basics of sex for, and with, people with disabilities. It covers “disability sexuality, common myths about disabled bodies, communication tips, and practical suggestions for having the best sexual experience possible.” Bonus recs: The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, Disability Intimacy
7. Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
Angela Chen
If the status quo narrative of sex and intimacy doesn’t describe what you’re feeling, you’re not alone! Angela Chen has put together a deeply personal and definitive guide to the Asexuality spectrum, from individual attraction and desire to collective conceptions of identity, relationships, and sexual politics. Everyone should read this book!
8. Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good
adrienne maree brown
You might have noticed a common thread uniting the books above: Society shapes sex and sex shapes society. In Pleasure Activism, adrienne maree brown argues that pleasure itself is a political act. Might the fight for equality and liberation imply that, barring harm of others, people deserve to feel good? How might a politics that democratizes pleasure benefit us all?
9. The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century
Amia Srinivasan
How we understand sex has evolved greatly over time, even just in the last 10 years. Srinivasan’s The Right to Sex moves beyond consent as a simple discussion of “yes and no,” challenging us to consider the relationship of sex to “gender, class, race and power” and to imagine its possible future.
10. Anonymous Sex
Edited by Hillary Jordan & Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan
Alright, okay, if you made it this far kudos to you! Your reward is Anonymous Sex, a new collection of 27 stories by 27 incredible authors about everything s-e-x. The catch? They don’t tell you who wrote them until the end! Come for the sexy stories, stay for the mystery. Who doesn’t love a little hot-and-heavy fun?