Is Re-Entry Anxiety Still Getting The Best Of You?
Is your re-entry anxiety still going strong? I hadn't heard of this term until this year, but I am very familiar with the phenomenon. Though re-entry anxiety has surfaced for many folks “post”-pandemic, it doesn’t just apply to COVID-19. Re-entry anxiety is a matter of disordered adjustment, causing stress as you re-enter a space you have some familiarity with but haven't been in for an extended period. This may be due to prolonged sickness, work, domestic violence, or anything that has taken you away from your "norm."
Re-entry anxiety has had a profound impact on many of us. There are also a lot of practical steps for coping as the world "re-opens." So I thought I’d share some resources I’ve found helpful.
In my previous post, I shared my own personal experience with re-entry anxiety. I highlighted my go-to resources for my interpersonal and romantic relationships, my relationship OCD (R-OCD), and my escapism. I also outlined many of my biases, experiences, and narratives that influence my belief systems and world views to explain why I chose these resources. As promised, these are some additional tools that have helped me cope with feeling utterly thrown off in 2022 by even the most minor social interactions.
Most of these resources are free (or, at least, have free components). I use Amazon for items that require purchase, noted with a "$" before and after relevant links.
So, in no particular order…
More Of My Favorite Tools For Dealing With Life "After" COVID
Relationships | OCD | Escapism | Black-Centered | Organizing | Caregiving | Self-Growth | Gardening | Sexy Time
4. For My Understanding (& My Partners' Experiences) Of Black-Centered Healing…
"One of the functions and privileges of racism is that white people don't, as a whole, carry race as an identity -- you get to be individual, you get to be 'yourself,' you get to be the norm, you get to be whole and not partial or hyphenated. You do not have to make 'adjustments' or 'modifications' to know or name yourself," says Diane Flinn, a white woman and managing partner of Diversity Matters.
Being “not racist” is not enough to combat systemic racism. Though having discussions and practicing active listening is essential, leaning on my Black partners and friends for insights is not enough and is sometimes harmful. That said, some of these resources are directly from my Black partners and friends, while some I have found, myself. These Black voices all profoundly center around Black healing.
Therapy For Black Girls: Website | Blog | Podcast
Therapy For Black Girls is often referenced in stories or other podcasts I listen to as a valuable resource for finding a Black-centered therapist in your area. The site offers in-person and virtual filters upfront. In addition, you can select state licensure and proximity, and you can choose to only look for therapists who are accepting new clients.
"So often the stigma surrounding mental health issues and therapy prevents Black women from taking the step of seeing a therapist. This space was developed to present mental health topics in a way that feels more accessible and relevant." - From the “About” page on therapyforblackgirls.com
The Therapy For Black Girls blog and podcast also feature the voices of Black licensed therapists, and they explore topics from "Ghosting's Impact on Mental Health & Relationships" to "Common Cannabis Misconceptions" and "Buying Your First Home."
Black Girls Heal: Podcast | Blog | Website
My partner, Albany, initially introduced me to the Black Girls Heal podcast during the pandemic. The podcast is centered around moving from love avoidance to love availability. Though this sounds relationship-centered, much of the content and work is centered on the self and how you relate to others in general, not just romantically. The hosts offer a free masterclass and a paid $$ Healed and Loved Woman Retreat $$.
My partner has hosted a relationship check-in (as advised by Black Girls Heal) with several friends, family, and me. It offers a helpful framework to explore relationship triumphs and room for improvement that is not white-centered.
GirlTrek: Podcast | Website | Blog
I experienced GirlTrek through the Black History Bootcamp podcast. Black History Bootcamp is a first-of-its-kind walking podcast (meaning you're meant to go for a walk while you listen) centered on Black stories and a belief in radical acts of self-care. Through a series of 21-day walking meditations (which are often lively conversations between friends), the hosts reflect on stories of Black resilience and resistance intended to support the spirit, physical, and emotional health of Black women. The theme changes each month.
Experiencing the podcast is literally listening to a conversation between friends Morgan and Vanessa. As a white woman, it feels like I am invited to witness a raw and vulnerable exchange between two Black women, and that experience deserves reverence. However, the content is casual and digestible. It’s also sometimes actionable, which I especially appreciate.
5. For My Need/Urge To Organize…
Despite (or maybe because of?) the pandemic, I have a lot going on in my life. My garden has grown over 60 types of (mostly edible) plants. I need to keep track of multiple appointments, home repairs, meals, and other needs in my parents' lives. I am usually working on numerous projects and reading multiple books at once. Or I'm crashing. Hard. I don't just like to be organized; I need to be organized. However, one of the most significant challenges for me is getting lost in the organization. That's why I love these resources, which are generally accessible and straightforward to use.
Trello: Do you like to make lists?! I love making lists. Too many lists. They can take over my space, though. I am afraid to throw away anything I haven't reviewed. This can start to get out of control. That is why I love Trello. Designed with jobs and collaboration in mind, I use this for work and for my personal life. Think color-coded, prioritized drag-and-drop to-do lists with the potential to attach collaborators (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) to each item, where you can upload files and attach to any notes you want to make.
Airtable: Do you also love Excel/Google Sheets (for what they can do)? Or, do the limitations of Excel/Google Sheets vex you? Either way, you may find Airtable as helpful as I do. For example, I have one Airtable workspace to track how I care for my parents, one for planning out my garden, and one for each of my consulting clients. At this point, I have introduced dozens of people to Airtable, and most of them are huge fans.
Both Trello and Airtable have smartphone-friendly interfaces. They can integrate with many other platforms if you're interested in having a lot of tech that works together.
$ Rocketbook Panda Planner $ This planner combines two of my favorite things: eliminating waste and staying (flexibly) organized. Rocketbooks are reusable notebooks with an erasable pen and an app for your phone that enables you to scan and organize your pages digitally. The Panda Planner uses a research-backed design to guide you through planning your month, week, and day, including a focus on work-life balance. This combination makes my heart happy. Regularly.
$ Productivity Planner $ I am a visual person, so I appreciate having good planners. This planner is handy when I am overwhelmed with many tasks, especially big and/or unrelated tasks that I cannot picture in my mind all at once. Like the Panda Planner, the pages do not include pre-written dates on them, so you can use this planner as often or as little as you like until you run out of pages. The planner is designed based on research-backed strategies to help with time management. Even without the time management elements, though, I find it useful for prioritizing tasks and organizing my plans.
$ Whiteboard Calendar $ My partner Orlando bought me one of these whiteboards. Mine is a bit different, but I enjoy the simple monochrome boards that enable me to use colored markers to highlight the things I want, the way I want. I highly recommend getting a metal or magnetic board for attaching notes, markers, and erasers.
Heading into your next week, I hope you have found something useful here. If not yet, there's more to come!