How to Put Yourself Out There
If the sunshine and the heat waves are any indication, summer is coming fast. In other words, cuffing season — or the dating equivalent of hibernation — is out and “fielding season” is in! Say yes to that date you’ve been on the fence about. Go for coffee with a potential new friend. Take advantage of the extra Vitamin D and open yourself up to new connections. You never know who you might meet!
Still, you might be asking yourself: What does “put yourself out there” really mean? Meeting new people is easier said than done. Relationships come and go. Friends move and marry. And here you are, in a new place or new phase of life. Do you have a circle of friends you can depend on? Has your love life been grooving or on hold? Are there existing connections in your life you want to take to the next level, romantic or otherwise? When you’ve got a sense of what you want, it’s easier to find.
In true Skip the Small Talk spirit, the first step to meeting new people is, you guessed it, communication communication communication! I’ll say it til the cows come home! If talking to strangers doesn’t come easily to you, take baby steps. Integrate some chit-chat into your daily routine. Ask the people you interact with regularly — your coworkers, your neighbors, your mini mart clerk — how they’re doing and mean it. Seek out spaces where people go to connect with each other, like coffee shops, bars, community spaces or block parties. Pay compliments and keep an ear out for other strangers talking whose conversation you might be able to (politely) join in on.
Investing time in your existing relationships and being a consistent participant in spaces that encourage community are no brainer ways to forge deeper connections in your daily life. Once you’ve gotten past the small talk, it’s time for a vibe check. Are you casual friends, coworker friends, social friends, or maybe… something more…? If that last one is the winner and the person’s verbal and nonverbal cues are giving you the green light, it’s time to take your shot! Ask your crush out for coffee, a drink, or a walk. (More first date ideas here.) Drop your digits. (It’s less pressure than asking for theirs.) If it works, amazing! If not, don’t stress. You can’t win ‘em all. Shake it off and get back in the saddle.
The long and short of getting yourself out there is to stop thinking and start doing. Be active, not passive. It’s a big world and there are people all around you from all walks of life who would love nothing more than to chat for a few minutes with someone new. It’s like Yeats said: “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t met yet.”