How To Identify Your Strengths
When most people are asked to identify their strengths, it’s most often in a job interview or an admissions essay of some sort. The term “strengths” has been co-opted by the workforce, and it’s been drilled into our heads that to curate our best professional life, we must figure out and be able to present what our strengths are. What is often overlooked, however, is that identifying one’s strengths is incredibly important for personal growth, fulfillment, and overall mental well-being.
One of the most popular approaches studied in the mental health field is called the “Strengths-Based Perspective.” These studies and practice of this widely used approach emphasizes the critical importance in using the identification of a person’s strengths to develop more positive self-esteem, worldview, and more effective ways of making the changes in their life that they’re striving for. Many assume that identifying the deficits in their life or in themselves is the key to figuring out how to fix it all and be happy. But time and time again, the habit of focusing on our shortcomings when working towards change has been shown to fail and leave us more discouraged than when we started.
So, to strengths we look! This is, however, easier said than done. For anyone, pushing ourselves away from negative self-talk and towards identifying the things we are proud of and bring to the table can be uncomfortable at best and downright near impossible at worst. It is particularly difficult for those who struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders or conditions. Identifying one’s strength is a skill (and we’ll get to what the difference between a strength and a skill is later) that may not come easily, but can definitely be practiced and honed. Read on for some practical steps as to how to start identifying your own strengths.
Distinguish Between Strengths And Skills
Before we start identifying strengths, we should probably clarify what a strength actually is. Often, strengths and skills get used interchangeably - but they are actually very different and worth distinguishing. A skill is an ability or talent that one has developed over time through training and practice. Skills have been broken down into two types: hard and soft. Hard skills are the more tangible abilities we may think of, like playing the piano or making pivot tables in Microsoft Excel. Soft skills, on the other hand, are inter-relational attributes and are associated with how one engages with the world; some examples are communication, critical thinking, and adapting to new circumstances.
Strengths are not necessarily abilities but may be qualities or characteristics that are somewhat innate to a person and most likely were evident even at a young age. Think about the more basic or overarching things about yourself - they may even align somewhat with your values or what you value in others. For example, being a hard worker may be a strength that you’ve had since you were young, and that’s transferred to different skills you’ve been able to develop. Or, perhaps patience is a strength you have and it’s made you a really excellent caretaker in your professional and personal life (which may be a hard and/or soft skill). It’s important to note that though strengths tend to be innate, they can still grow and develop over time. But they remain more of the root of your skills - they’re the foundational personal attributes that make you good at what you do, or that make you show up in the world the way you do. And clearly, skills and strengths are very interconnected - but these key differences between them are important in distinguishing what your core personal strengths are without getting bogged down in the more tangible or hard skills. It’s a confusing concept for sure - make sure to read more about the differences if you’re still unsure.
2. Reflect On Past Experiences
Now that you have a better idea what a strength actually is, it’s time to reflect on your past and current experiences. Ask yourselves a few of these questions to get started:
What are the things that have always come easily to me, or that I haven’t had to work very hard to be able to do?
What do I truly enjoy doing (even if I’m not very good, or skilled, at it?)
At what times, or engaging in what activities, do I feel most energized or excited?
What things do friends or family ask me to do for them or help them with?
What things have friends or family pointed out that I’m good at, or complimented me on?
What did I like to do as a child?
Your answers to these questions look a lot of different ways - so your next task is to use the “downward arrow” technique to try to figure out what that core strengths are from your answers. In other words, move backwards to dig deeper and get to the fundamental reason behind the skill or interest:. why is it that I have this skill, or that I gravitate towards certain activities? If math always came easily to you, the downward arrow process may look something like:
I’ve always been good at math →
It’s easy for me to take the time to work through the problems and find different patterns →
My strengths are patience and persistence!
Or:
My friends always come to me for advice about their relationships →
I’m a good listener and can understand their perspective as well as the possible perspectives of others →
My strengths are intuition and empathy!
See if you can use this strategy to dig deeper into your past experiences to identify a few core strengths that have been through-lines in different areas of your life.
3. Ask People Close To You
If you’re having trouble identifying your strengths - whether you’re being hard on yourself or are just in a mental space in which you can’t see them, or any other reason - you are definitely not alone. It’s incredibly hard to sit with yourself and think about what you have to offer because there may be so many emotions and triggers around it. This may be a good time to utilize a different resource: your people. Ask the people close to you what strengths they see in you. You could ask friends, colleagues, family members, mentors - you could even ask people that are somewhat on the periphery of your life if you feel comfortable. Sometimes people who are one level removed from our day-to-day life can see some characteristics that it’s hard for us or our closest people to see. When you hear their answers, think through what you agree with and what you don’t - and ask follow-up questions if you want clarification and if you feel comfortable doing so.
4. Try New Things
If there are contradictions when you reflect on past experiences or consult your people, or you just want more clarification in what your strengths really are, then try engaging in some new activities or experiences. Create a list of strengths you believe you may have, and use it as a hypothesis. When you engage in these new activities - which could be a class, a new project at work, a new hobby, etc. - test the hypothesis! See which strengths you’re finding reassurance about, which strengths you’re disproving, and/or which you want to add to the list. You may realize you’ve got a strength you’d never even considered before!
5. Take Personality Tests Or Seek Professional Guidance
There are a ton of personality tests out there that can help you identify your strengths. Some examples that we like are Strengthsfinders, the DISC assessment, the Enneagram test, and Myers-Briggs (of course!). This is by no means an exhaustive list, so make sure to research and explore which one feels like the best fit for you.
You may also choose to talk to a mental health professional or a life/career coach to have some partnership in the process of identifying your strengths. Make sure to inquire with the company you work at, your school, or the other institutions you may be involved in to see if they offer you access to one of these resources - but you can always find this support on your own as well.