For some people, the holiday season is a time for peace, rest, and time with friends and family. For others, holidays come with stress, grief, and other tough emotions. And for most people, the truth lies somewhere in between. Forgive the oxymoron, but if you’re alone for the holidays, you’re not alone! Take it from a serial holiday hibernator, there are ways to enjoy this time of year outside the box of the stereotypical holiday agenda. You can start by trying the following!

1. Make A Schedule

Sounds boring, but something I’ve learned spending the holidays alone is that a lack of routine can be relaxing at first, but the longer it goes on the more likely it is to drag you down. Yes productivity is a capitalist nightmare, but even the things you want to do can get lost in the structureless shuffle. Take a look at your calendar. Think of the things you want to do and pick out some days — maybe you’ll go into a city/go shopping one day or see a movie another. I like to plan where I’ll order food from on Christmas, and who I’m going to call and what days look sunny enough for a solo adventure in the heart of my city. Best of all, planning your time in advance gives you something to look forward to! 

2. Spend Time With Friends

The one caveat to my guide is that we all have our own definitions of what it means to be “alone.” Alone for the holidays might mean you spend whatever time you have by yourself. It might mean you don’t go home or see friends and family. It might mean you’ll be alone some days and not on others. If the holidays may not be a time for un-chosen family, but they can be wonderful to spend with chosen family. When and if you can, spend time with some people you love. Remember, it’s love that makes a family, not your genes. 

3. Spend Time With Friends (Remotely) 

The last Christmas season I spent alone, I made it a point to call and FaceTime my friends to break up the long days alone. I called my childhood best friend and my college best friends. We texted and talked on the phone and sent each other memes and book recommendations and errant thoughts. You may not be with the people you love in person, but there are so many other ways to stay connected. You just might have friends who are in the same boat as you. Remember to send a little extra love their way. 

4. See A Movie

It’s the classic cold weather activity, no winter coat required! I like watching feel-good movies around the holidays: tear-jerkers, rom-coms, nostalgia-drenched childhood faves — anything to get me feeling warm and fuzzy and happy to be alive. And as much as I love watching a movie comfy on my couch or curled up in bed, I’m also partial to the simple pleasure of going to a movie theater alone. I like to sit closer to the screen when I’m alone because it gives me that specific feeling of childlike wonder, craning my neck upward to look at a screen so big it takes up my whole plane of vision.

5. Go Shopping

Has the holiday season become woefully, terrifyingly commercial? Yes. Is that a reason not to treat yourself? The jury (aka me) says no! There are worse things in the world than a little retail therapy. Venture out into the world and do some winter or window shopping; smell candles, buy a latte, try on some sweaters. I like to peruse vintage shops and bookstores and stop by cute holiday markets. Maybe do a little splurge and get yourself something you’ve been dying to get your hands on. Or drop by CVS for some chocolate and spa night supplies. Just a little something to get you out of the house and put a smile on your face.

6. Practice Self Care

There’s nothing like too much time alone to rally seasonal depression and holiday depression and your own personal mental health challenges into a field day of winter blues, which makes it even more important than usual to feed yourself, drink water, sleep, and get some time outside. Sleep in, but not too late, and take time to cook for yourself, to buy groceries, or to order food. (Gotta love the storied tradition of holiday takeout!) Drink lots of water and bundle up for a walk or some exercise outside. It’s good to keep busy in times like this, but not so busy that you miss the opportunity for some good ole rest and relaxation. 

7. Sit Back, Relax, And Enjoy Some Peace And Quiet

When in doubt, do what you love! Read books. Cook. Watch TV. Play video games. Draw. Knit. Do yoga. Whatever it is that brings you joy, make time for that. I, personally, like to write out my New Year’s Resolutions, most of which are to make more time for the things that make me happy in the year to come. (And also to read enough books at the last minute to hit my year-end goal!) Wherever you are for the holidays, and whatever you do, I hope you come out on the other end rested, refreshed, and ready to face the year ahead.