Coping With A Layoff...For Someone Who Was Laid Off
Layoffs are emotionally-wrought and potentially devastating events for so many people. Whether you’ve been laid off, a “survivor” at a company at which colleagues or friends have been laid off, a spouse or family member of someone who’s been laid off, or otherwise, it can feel endlessly confusing and sometimes unmanageable to figure out what to do when the thing we’ve most feared happens. We’ll get to what all of these different players may be feeling in future posts, but first, let’s focus on those who have been laid off from their jobs: where do you go from here?
Step 1: Sit With The Shock
It’s shocking. So you can be shocked. Allow yourself to feel it, and all the other more visceral emotions that may accompany it: anger, fear, hopelessness, etc. Give yourself some time (a day, an evening - whatever feels good and productive to you) to let all of the emotions and thoughts come to your mind - don’t try to force them away, and trust that they will eventually pass naturally.
Step 2: Gather The Facts
Ok, time to deal with some of the nitty gritty details of this. It may not be fun to have to think about finances and paperwork, but getting these things out of the way will set your mind at ease so you can get to taking care of yourself and moving through this transition.
Check in with your company, human resources representative, or whoever else you have access to about these few questions:
Is your company offering you any severance? When will your last paycheck be deposited in your account? Take a look at your finances with these details in mind so there are no surprises.
When will you be taken off your healthcare? If you have a few months, try to schedule any appointments you may need before then to reduce stress and potential extra costs (think: annual physical, dentist, gynecologist, etc.).
If you have a 401k, 403b, or any other kind of retirement plan, what is the process for retaining that account or transferring it to whichever opportunity comes next for you?
Is your company offering you any other services in your severance package? Sessions with a career coach? Sessions with a counselor? If so, make sure you take advantage of this if you’re interested.
If you have equity compensation, what is your company’s policy on what happens to it when you’re laid off? What’s the best approach to managing this? (You may need to do some extra research on this, or reach out to a financial advisor or professional.)
When will your company email be de-activated? Make sure to download any personal documents that may be lost, and gather any contact information you may need before it’s shut down.
Step 3: Take A Dang Breath!
OK, so your immediate to-do list is taken care of! Now is the time for self-care. It may seem unnatural not to jump into action and search for another job immediately, but trust me, that search may not go as well as you’d hoped if you are dysregulated and unwell.
Spend a few days taking advantage of not having to work! Sleep in, go to a coffee shop and take a long walk, have a soak in your bath, watch a funny movie. Whatever is going to calm your nervous system and provide a bit of dopamine to your brain will help you feel more grounded and more like yourself - and will ultimately help you in figuring out your next step.
Step 4: Take Stock Of What You Have
This may seem trivial when you’ve taken a huge hit in stability and possibly confidence - but I promise, you have a lot more to you and your life than your job. Be intentional about writing down, or talking through, what exactly you do have that you’re grateful for. Your home, your support system, your hobbies, the sun on your face, the park down the street, your pet… whatever you can think of that sparks gratitude: write that down, and hold it close. It’s an important reminder that your identity and your life are made up of so much more than your job or your professional status.
Step 5: Reset and Reflect
“Hey, maybe getting laid off is the best thing that’s ever happened to you!” Yeah… I’m not gonna tell you to get on board with that just yet. You were just laid off - it’s not going to feel like a party this soon. But, it can be an opportunity to reflect on what we want out of our work life and readjust our goals or path. Oftentimes, we just fall into jobs or career paths that feel like a good next step, so we take them: they’re not always conscious decisions on our part. Being laid off is a rare opportunity to take a breath and think.
Try talking through or jotting down some thoughts on the following questions to get started:
Have my values or mindsets around work, career, or finances changed since I started my career or this job? Has my personal mission changed?
Did I enjoy my day-to-day work in this job/career?
Did I have a pleasant or manageable work/life balance?
What am I good at? What do I enjoy doing day-to-day?
Am I doing what I thought I was going to do when I entered the workforce? If not, was that a welcome change or one I was pushed into?
Are there other jobs or career paths that I’ve been interested in the back of my mind that I may want to explore now?
What was scaring me about my work life while I was in this job? How can I move forward to mitigate that fear in the future?
Step 6: Lean On Your Support System & Network
This is probably the most important step: please, please, please stay engaged with your people. Reach out to your support system when you’re struggling for emotional support, to talk through your next steps, and to reaffirm all that you are outside of your work life (and you are pretty amazing!).
If there are colleagues or friends at your job that you are being cut off from due to the layoff, make sure that you reach out to them, share your personal contact information, and express that you’d like to stay in touch either professionally or personally. Having someone to connect with who understands what your day-to-day work life looked like, and what the dynamics of the layoff were can be really helpful in processing the event. Maintaining connections with past colleagues can also help mitigate some of the destabilization of not going into work every day.
When it comes time to start the job search process, your personal and professional network can often be the most helpful tool in finding the next thing: so don’t allow yourself to be isolated - in service of both your personal and professional self.
Step 7: Process Your Grief
Being laid off is a huge loss - there’s no way around it. You’re losing your day-to-day routines, every-day interactions with colleagues and potentially shifting relationships, a sense of stability and certainty, and more. It’s OK, and very normal, if being laid off is hitting you harder emotionally than you think it “should.” We spend almost 40% or more of your waking hours at work, so being dismissed can make you feel disposable, unwanted, and lost. Experiencing feelings of grief is a very real and valid reaction to job loss. For more tips on a job loss-specific grieving process, check out this piece from VeryWell. If the feelings of grief or associated emotions become too heavy to manage on your own, please reach out to a trained professional. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help during a very challenging time (or any time).
Step 8: Incorporate Joy
As you move forward with your next step - whether that be a job search, an extended break, a new venture in self-employment, or anything else - try your best to incorporate one joyful activity or experience every day. Transition, whether positive or negative, can be overwhelming and exhausting. Infuse some smiles and quality time with yourself or others. It’s the most important way to stay afloat and thrive!
You got this!